Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
