Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
