I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You've changed since you got that strap on
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
