You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
