Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
