I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
wow bdsm is so cute
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
