Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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