I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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