You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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