marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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