she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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