So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
