U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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