You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
