Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
