did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I didn't notice because vodka
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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