and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
