New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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