dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
