ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
