In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
