I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
