Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
