Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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