I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
