Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
