Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
