why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
