The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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