my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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