Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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