The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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