At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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