i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
