North Korea, Best Korea!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have post one night stand depression
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