I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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