I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize