help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
