do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
