You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My vagina just recognized that song.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
