then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
