Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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