I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
