handjob tips. give me some.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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