you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
