Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
