What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
