when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
