I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
