I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
